After claiming her run for the Republican nomination was on instructions from God, Michele Bachmann has pulled herself from the race. She thanked her supporters and staff, stepped outside into the fresh Iowa air, and promptly turned into a pillar of salt.
Rick Perry, finishing just ahead of Bachmann in the Iowa caucus, and also claiming to be God's candidate, has decided after witnessing Bachmann's divine punishment, that fifth place was strong enough to continue on to South Carolina.